Thursday Thoughts

I know, I know. I've been a blog flake. Sigh. I really need to start making to-do lists again. Every morning I wake up in a panic about all the stuff I forgot to do the day before. How messed up is that? I'm busy, but not that busy. A part of my problem is that I'm easily distracted and go off on tangents. I never used to be this way. Hey, I thought wisdom came with age. Stop laughing.

Here are some distractions that veered me away from my productive path:

Absolute Write Watercooler. It goes without saying that this place is addictive, but yesterday I became fascinated and repulsed by the antics of a troll on one of the more active threads in the forum. He was remarkably creepy and you can really see how damaging these people can be. What was interesting was how many people couldn't stop themselves from feeding this guy's need to cause emotional dissonance. I have no problem walking away from foolish discussions, but some people can get terribly defensive and just won't let it go. This troll was having the time of his life. It was like watching a toddler play in traffic.

Iron Spring Writers Retreat. I reconnected with an old online friend who told me about her Writers Weekend now being a smaller retreat than in past years and it's now held in a little resort on the Washington coast. I've always wanted to attend her bigger one in the past, but living in Colorado made it cost prohibitive. Now that I live in the Pacific Northwest, the drive up north to Washington isn't so bad. So I signed up. The retreat is restricted to 15 people, and I see on the website that the limit has already been reached. If you'd like to attend, keep an eye on the website to see if any openings come up.

Steampunk. Knowing that Jay Lake will be one of the attendees at Iron Springs, I just had to read his story in the Steampunk anthology I bought a couple of weeks ago and haven't even opened yet. He wrote a very odd story about a god-clown. Creepy and compelling. Now I'm eager to read the rest of the stories in the book. I love anthologies that include stories by novelists whose books I haven't read so that I can try them on for size. I've found a number of favorite writers this way.

Exercise. I should do it more often, but I try to get to the fitness center at least three times a week. Wednesday evenings has my favorite step aerobics class. We've been working on the same routine now for about 3 weeks and I've got it down solid! Talk about sweat. And sore muscles. Today I'm going to kick boxing class, which starts in about an hour so I've got to get my butt in gear.

Here's something from my research notes out of The City in Slang: In the late 1800s, Guttersnipes were the youngest members of gangs of homeless boys, the older of whom were called street arabs. Guttersnipe was also used in reference to a street beggar or street musician.

Marketing Monday

I'm back from a long weekend spent in Eugene, Oregon, with family. Boy, it sure is beautiful over there. My daughter and her boyfriend have this great little house in a very green area of town with lots of deer and hawks and wild turkeys running around. And the drive to and from Central Oregon through the Cascades is breathtaking. Plus I always listen to an audio book along the way and this trip I went to Blockbuster Video and rented Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovitch. It was hilarious! Actually, it's still hilarious because I haven't finished listening to it yet.

I followed up with my agent to see how things were going and to ask if she'd heard any news on submissions. She doesn't expect any responses until the first or second week of September at the earliest. Sigh. It would be so cool if news came through while I was with my friends at the Colorado Gold Conference in Denver. Nothing could be better than sharing something like that with your close writer pals.

But enough about me...

If you want to get in on the next Miss Snark's First Victim Secret Agent contest, now's the time! Submit the first 250 words of your manuscript by tomorrow to get in on the action! Like last time, it should be loads of fun.

Listen to a podcast with Benjamin LeRoy of Bleakhouse interviewing Curtis Brown literary agent, Nathan Bransford. It's a short show and pretty fun to hear Nathan's thoughts about books and publishing.

There was a live chat today with literary agent Michael Bourret of Dystel and Goderich Literary Management over at AgentQuery.net. If you missed the chat, you can read the transcript that will be posted there on Tuesday.

Well, that's all the marketing type news I have for today, very little of it having anything to do with me. 8^) With any luck, maybe I'll have something to share by next Monday.

5. The multi-race bar room.

Cliché? I think not. Whether it's a restaurant, bar, or coffee shop, the communal watering hole is a popular and effective story element. It's the symbolic center of community, often neutral territory, or one with a shared interest among its patrons.

The article's example of Star Wars' multi-specie bar is classic and not overdone. It's an introduction to a unique world where many species gather socially and for business. The short-lived TV series Firefly does the same. Jim Butcher's Dresden Files features the bar where magic makers meet and drink. Simon Greene's Nightside series has a similar bar. Anyone remember Cheers? The communal meeting place is a hot spot for good story telling. Talk about layering!

Knight's Curse features a coffee shop using the same principal, a communal watering hole where other worldly beings can gather with impunity. Here's an excerpt from a scene at Elmo's Coffee Shop:

I palmed the copper door handle and pushed. The heavy plank heaved on its hinges and a rush of voices and heat spilled out into the tunnel. The light was so bright that even with the protection of my contact lenses I had to shade my eyes. There were a lot of people here, if I could call them that. They were of varying sizes and colors, some with hair, some without, and a couple with so much hair that clothes would have been redundant. The hairy ones were chimeras. Not the literal kind from Greek mythology that had a lion's head, goat's body, and serpent's tail. The faces of these people were human. The bodies? Not so much.

"Hey, Elmo!" Aydin called over the din of happy coffee drinkers. And they were indeed happy. Lots of laughter to go with the music playing through speakers mounted high on the dirt walls. "Elmo, I've brought someone I'd like you to meet."

The festive atmosphere was more of what I'd expect inside a pub, but my senses detected no alcohol. I slipped one nose filter free and inhaled the aroma of coffee and honey. And yeast. Baked treats, too? My stomach rumbled, reminding me I hadn't eaten. Looking around, I recognized a variety of magical species that I'd always associated with those who had enslaved me. I wondered if these were spies.

I edged my way to the door, snagging Aydin's jacket sleeve as I went. "We have to get out here. These people are Vyantara. They must be spies or assassins, or both."

He laid a gentle hand on my arm and I jerked it away. His touch didn't hurt me, but it had the potential to, and I was taking no chances. Unfazed by my reaction, he said, "No, Chalice, they're not spies or assassins. These are my friends. And they can be your friends, too."

I didn't have any friends. Not sincere ones, anyway. Those who had been friendly to me were either paid or bribed to do so. Anything inhuman that reeked of the veil, or of magic, meant just one thing: Vyantara. "They're your friends, Aydin, because you report to the Fatherhouse. I can't associate with these people. It's bad enough I'm forced to serve them."

Aydin sighed. "That's why I brought you here, to show you that not all beings from beyond the veil serve the dark side. There's a light side, too."

What's Up Wednesday

4. Being abducted from earth to a different world.

Today I'm continuing my argument about fantasy clichés based on the article at Urban Fantasy Writers. A space alien abduction might be cliché, but there are plenty of other ways a character can be transported from one world to the next, and for a variety of reasons. This is a story element, folks, not a cliché. Calling this plot point a cliché is practically like saying that making villains evil is cliché. Not every story has one, and those that do don't have to be the same.

What are the different reasons a character might find him or herself in a different world?

Quest: This could involve traveling to an alien world or alternate dimension. Lots of fantasy stories feature a quest of some kind, like finding the magic amulet or rescuing the princess. However, I've heard many agents say they'll reject a story with this kind of quest story line, but I suppose if it's different enough, it could pass. It's all about the writing.

Amnesia: Here's an interesting idea, having the MC suddenly find himself in a place he doesn't recognize and has no idea how he got there, or even who he is. The story is spent trying to solve the mystery. There was a television show like that a few years ago, but it didn't make it past the first or second season, so the mystery of the guy's identity was never solved. I've always wondered about that...

Accident: An incantation goes awry and the character doesn't arrive in the destination he'd intended. Time travel stories are good for this, like H.G. Wells' Time Machine. Great conflict potential. I also remember an episode on the Angel TV series where Cordelia is accidentally transported to the demon dimension of Pyleia after reciting an incantation from a book. Turns out it wasn't really an accident because the Powers That Be sent her there on purpose. Great episode (I have all 5 seasons on DVD).

Adventure: A curious character intentionally travels to another dimension, planet, or place in time just to see what it's like, and encounters all kinds of fascinating surprises. Maybe he finds love. Maybe he finds the true purpose to his life. Maybe he realizes adventure isn't what it's cracked up to be. Great theme opportunities here, and some interesting character arcs to explore.

I think the appeal of the alien world or alternate dimension is the sense of awe we enjoy when encountering the unknown. Speculative fiction is all about the unknown, and whether we choose to fear or embrace it. It's one of the most exciting aspects about the genre. Avoiding it because it's misconstrued as cliché would be like giving the entire genre that distinction. If that happened, what would I have to read?

Marketing Monday

Yes, you're hearing what I'm hearing. Crickets. LOL!

No news yet from the publishers my agent submitted to. It's only been two weeks, but still...

Freestyle Friday

3. The parting from everything you ever knew.
Vogler would call this phase of a story "Accepting the call to adventure." So again we have a structural element at work, not a cliché. It's the way this is done that can make it cliché.

A call to adventure that involves a main character gathering up a group to travel together on a quest for a powerful object that will save the world is cliché. Most agents and editors use this specific scenario as one of their reasons to automatically reject a submission.

A variation of this is the fish out of water story, which is an acceptable story element. It shows the contrast of who the character is against a backdrop of foreign surroundings. It's more common than the traditional quest, but more acceptable and not considered cliché because there are so many ways to go about it. I think Neil Gaimon's NEVERWHERE is a perfect example of the fish out of water story as main character Richard Mayhew is suddenly transported to London's secret fantasy underground. The characters are fabulous! There's Dorothy in Oz, of course, and in non-fantasy you have any story that takes a character out of his ordinary world and gives him a challenge to reach a goal. The very definition of story itself.

Does the character in your story answer a call to adventure? Does he or she leave the ordinary world to accomplish a goal? Do you consider this cliché?

Thursday Thoughts

Continuing my counterpoints to a list of fantasy clichés in an article published on the Urban Fantasy Writers' blog, the next one is:

2. Learning to fight.

He calls it the "Galahad" gambit. Gambit means ploy or scheme, so that's the first thing to raise my eyebrows. He calls all these clichés gambits, by the way. I don't know that I've ever read an urban fantasy with a scene showing the main character learning how to fight. The article says the character receives "secret" training and beats his seasoned opponent in a first fight. This sounds like epic fantasy to me. Maybe 25 years ago I remember reading something like this in Terry Brooks' first Shannara book. I have noticed this "gambit" (such an odd choice of words) in some old B movies from the 70s and 80s.

So if this was done a lot in the past, is it cliché? Probably, but as the blog that published the article is called Urban Fantasy Writers, I'm not sure how it relates to the modern urban tale. I read a lot of UF and haven't seen this once, not to say that it's not in the books I haven't read. I will say that the young hero who's never held a sword suddenly hurling the blade with practiced ease would be unbelievable, but that's more a sign of bad writing than a cliché.

Maybe the real cliché here is the hero who's an excellent fighter. I could buy that. The learning to fight thing doesn't work for me because I think it's old-fashioned and rare in modern fiction. But the hero who's the best at everything is definitely cliché. It's refreshing when the MC fails, and then makes up for it with an unexpected skill. Cliché's are predictable.

In Knight's Curse, Chalice is an expert Visayan knife fighter, but I never show her learning the craft. It's backstory. But her knives are more weapons of security than killing tools. She's not a fighter. She's a defender.

Do you know of any modern urban fantasies that feature the young MC learning how to fight? Is it really a cliché?

What's Up Wednesday

What's up? Well, I'm always up for talking about books, writing them and reading them. I happened across an interesting blog called Urban Fantasy Writers via a post on Urban Fantasy Fans. The author of an article about "fantasy clichés" really got my writer's mind whirling, and not in a good way. A lot of what he calls cliche are basic story elements you'll find in a variety of genres, not just fantasy, and when handled with imagination and originality they can make a good story even better.

He mentions six "clichés" so I thought I'd give my take on each one through a series of blog posts over the next few days.

1. Receiving tutoring from the old wise man.
This is the first cliché he covers, which is actually not a cliché but a common trope for most stories where the main character looks to a mentor character for advice and guidance. Does this mentor always have to be a bearded old man? Of course not. But the fact that he or she is old is a distinction because it indicates this individual has been around the block a few times and is in a position to offer sage words of advice.

Choosing the form the mentor will take is immaterial. Who gave guidance to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz? The lovely good witch Glenda. Let's move up a few years to something modern and in my genre, and we can look at Jim Butcher's Dresden Files. Who gives advice to Harry Dresden? Bob the skull. Now let's move away from fantasy altogether and look at the classic movie The Karate Kid. Mr. Miyagi was an old wise dude sans beard, but he knew what was what and showed the kid how to Karate chop his way to a trophe.

The point is not the image of the mentor, but that there is one. Does there always have to be one? No, but the mentor is a classic character and adds wonderful layering to a complex plot. Whether it's an old man, an oracle, or a group (i.e. The Dark Crystal), that wise and mysterious figure will council the MC with advice that's often cryptic as it helps him or her learn the lessons necessary to complete his or her character arc.

I actually have two mentor characters in Knight's Curse, neither of whom is a bearded old man, but their wisdom and knowledge helps guide Chalice toward her goal. No one teaches her to fight or makes her decisions for her, but she uses the knowledge from her mentors as a tool to reach her goal.

Do you have a venerable, white-bearded wise man in your story? Do you consider the mentor a cliché character?

Marketing Monday

I have no news of my own to report. Knight's Curse has only been on submission for a week, and my agent assures me all the editors she submitted to are in town for the month of August.

I have a publishing contract still sitting in my email's inbox from The Wild Rose Press to include my novella, For Love or Money, in a printed anthology. It's one of the stories in their Legacy of The Celtic Brooch series and they're making them available in printed book form (currently they're only available as pdfs). I just haven't gotten around to printing it out and signing it yet. I guess I should do that soon.

As for other marketing news, my good friend Diane Hammond has a new book coming out from Harper Collins on September 2 called Hannah's Dream. She's getting a huge marketing push from her publisher and there are lots of promotional things going on for her book. Not only will the book be in chain book stores across the country, but also in every Target, Walmart, and Sam's Club. I'm so excited for her! I think this will definitely be her breakout book. Fingers crossed!

One of my unpublished friends just had something wonderful happen over the weekend of WorldCon in Denver. He'd sent a query for his science fiction manuscript to the new agent at Jabberwocky a couple months ago and the agent requested the full. He read it quickly and when he got to Denver to attend WorldCon, the agent called my friend (who lives in Denver) and invited him to have a sit down meeting about his manuscript! The two met in the agent's hotel lobby, had a great discussion, and he told my friend to expect a revision letter soon. It looks promising! My friend's book is fabulous and funny, and has some remarkable characters. I couldn't be more happy for him.

Any exciting news happen for you last week? Please share!

Freestyle Friday

I love reading series novels. It's so fun getting caught up in a fictional world and getting to know characters you'll be visiting again in future books. The anticipation that comes with a series is intoxicating. You watch for news about that author to find out when the next book releases so that you can be first in line to buy it hot off the shelf.

So it's no wonder I like to write these kinds of books. I had a paranormal mystery series started a few years ago, and when book one was finished, I immediately launched into writing book two. I was so sure it would sell. I'd been working with an agent for several months on revisions, so I thought that once we were done, she'd agree to represent me. But she didn't. And I couldn't drum up any more interest from other agents. I was a hundred pages into the second book, and I lost steam once I accepted the fact that book one was going nowhere.

I wrote a stand alone book after that, a romantic suspense novel that was tons of fun to write. Of course I had an idea for a second book set in the same story world, same characters, but with a new relationship between two secondaries, the brother and the woman ex-cultist who had unwittingly betrayed the hero and heroine. But with that book, I got no farther than a small press and I didn't have the motivation I needed to pursue my idea for book two in that series. Maybe someday in the future, after I get my rights back.

I learned two lessons: 1) Don't start writing book two until book one sells; 2) Write book one as if there will never be another book to follow it.

Then I write the book that got me my agent. Knight's Curse is an urban fantasy novel that's ripe for several sequels. But I haven't started writing book two. I learned my lesson, right? Wait until book one sells. Though ideas for books two and three are burning my brain, I've forced myself to ignore them. Instead, I've begun a new book for a new series--Mystic Taxi-- and it gives me butterflies just to think about it. So wouldn't you know that my agent sends me an email asking if I've started writing book two in my Knights series. *head desk*

Speaking of series novels, there was a fabulous article in the last RWR called "The New Romance." It's about series romance novels that don't always get the traditional happy ending. It's become a trend for a series to be about one main character's story continued over several books, and the reaction from readers has been very positive. I'm ecstatic about this! My novel isn't a romance, but it has a relationship with romantic tension being the strongest glue, and a promise of more to come in future books. Will they or won't they? Something tragic happens to the hero and he and my heroine are forced apart at the end, thus no happy ending. But that's okay! It's obvious their relationship is far from over.

With my interest in writing series fiction, I trolled the Internet for more information. Slim pickin's, let me tell you. But I did find an author's blog with a mini workshop that's perfect for any writer thinking about writing a series. The author's name is Kaye Dacus.

Kaye lays out the three different types of series books. First is the Spinoff, which reminds me of the continuity series of category fiction from Harlequin and Sillhouette. Same world, different stories and characters. Then there's the Serial novel that features one main character who has separate adventures in each book, like the alphabet mysteries by Sue Grafton. Last, we have the Sequel novel, which is the same principal as the trilogy, though the main story line can last across more than just three books. Epic fantasy novels are famous for this because the stories are so broad in scope, but other genres are fitting neatly into this sequel category as well.

I'm still gun-shy over starting book two in my Knights series, afraid I'll jinx myself. I'm going to play it cool until that contract happens. I have a strong feeling that this time it will. Even so, I'm sticking to my plan of getting a new series going before continuing on with the other one. Who says I can't write two series at once? *gulp*

What are your thoughts about series fiction? Is it a trend with a short fuse, or is it destined to blow up to be the next big thing? Are you writing one, and if so, which of the three types does your series fit into?

Thursday Thoughts

I didn't attend RWA's national conference last week. Did I miss going? It's kind of hard for me to miss something I've never experienced, but I always hear how wonderful it is so I'd like to go someday. If I'd had the time and money, I probably would have made the trip last week. But alas, I have a day job and I'm financially challenged.

Though I've never been to nationals, I make it a point to attend smaller conferences whenever I can. My absolute favorite that I've never missed in fifteen years is Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers' Colorado Gold. Why is it so special? Because it's all fiction, all genres. Very, very cool. You get the best of all worlds at this conference. The next one coming up is in September and I can hardly wait! Every year I reunite with dozens of writer friends I've known for as long as I've been attending this conference.

There are several things that set this conference apart and make it special. Lots of male writers attend this event and it's great to hear the guys' perspectives on writing. The guest agents and editors hear pitches from attendees, present their own workshops and panels, just like they do at RWA conferences. But the bonus is the critique workshops with the agents and editors who run them. I've learned so much from these intimate gatherings where an industry pro has read your sample pages beforehand and offers feedback in a group setting with a handful of other attendees. I love it!

I also enjoy the pre conference party for all the committee people who help make the conference happen. In fact, every evening is party time. I eat too much, drink too much, and never get enough sleep. Though I used to attend all the workshops years ago, now I only catch two or three, and buy the CDs of the interesting ones I missed. I also give a workshop or two myself. But my greatest delight is soaking up the creative energy from all these inspirational people, my fellow writers, who share my passion for writing books. It's awesome! And it charges my creative battery for another year.

Being with people who "get me" as a writer is invaluable. I think any conference anywhere will do that. Being around people who share my same interest in writing is like being in heaven. It's the best!

What's Up Wednesday

Exciting news! I'm a finalist in the PASIC Book of Your Heart contest! I'd entered the contest in May of this year, then promptly forgot all about it when I got my agent about a week later. I received the call yesterday that Knight's Curse made the finals and will be going on to the editor judge who'll make the final determination of the winner. Yes!

I don't enter contests very often, so this was a huge surprise. The contest is for romance novels and my book is urban fantasy with a romantic subplot, so all the more reason for my surprise. The final judge is Heather Osborn, editor with Tor, and she happens to be on my agent's submission list anyway. So my agent now has a nice segue already in place. Nice.

Knight's Curse is also being considered by a handful of other large publishing houses, so the waiting begins. Thank heavens I'm not a nail-biter. And I have Mystic Taxi to keep me busy.

Speaking of Mystic Taxi, here's a tidbit about New York City's turn-of-the-century past. You've heard the old-fashioned term "the joint is jumping," yes? Back in the late 1800s, early 1900s, people needing extra cash would often host rent parties, which featured entertainment like music and dancing for a small admittance fee. The apartments that held these parties were called "Jump Joints." I love that term! I'm definitely using it in the book. Ha!

Teaser Tuesday

As promised, the following is a truncated version of the synopsis for my new steampunk urban fantasy novel, the first in a series. I left out the ending for obvious reasons. The research for this book is going to be crazy, but there are some decent resources out there. I have this wonderful book about turn of the century New York City, its culture and its slang. I'll post some fascinating tidbits on the blog now and then because I think you'll get a kick out of them. One example is the word "Skells," which was a nickname often given to homeless people.

MYSTIC TAXI Synopsis ©Karen Duvall

Coal is king and steam is the dream in a twenty-first century where the internal combustion engine never caught on. The latest technology is demon-powered. HENRY PAINE, a half-demon taxi driver in New York City, is the go-to guy whenever you want a demon to possess your machine. He can get the blackmarket Imps, Snits and Vox demons to automate most any mechanical gizmo with or without an engine. The creatures are tame as pets. Or at least they have been, until now.

WANDA SNOW is a human exorcist who grudgingly admits to having a few drops of demon blood herself. She's come to New York to rid the city of demonic vermin, both good and bad. Wanda starts out as Henry's nemesis, but the two become partners in a mutual goal to round up the rogues biting the Big Apple.

A third of the U.S. population is made up of Hellspawn: half-breed demons like Henry. A rebellion has been brewing for decades, and Henry's former best friend JASPER is leader of the pack. Jasper, like all Hellspawn, has human family, but he was abused and neglected by them. He's created an army of robots powered by demon possession. Jasper's goal is to wipe out the humans and make Hellspawn the dominating race.

When Henry's human family is taken hostage by the rebels, he and Wanda use their psychic gifts to try ridding the robots of the demonic energy that powers them. Will they succeed? Or will the world end up demon-powered like the machines they control?

Marketing Monday

To those of you who participated in my workshop last week, thank you so much! I enjoyed reading your comments. I hope you'll apply what you learned to your current and future fiction projects.

This week I tremble in anticipation of Knight's Curse starting the submission rounds. My agent has written her pitch letter and has already pitched to a couple of editors, both of whom responded with enthusiasm. Yes! Let's hope they're equally enthusiastic after reading the manuscript. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I've heard August is a dead month for publishers because editors are taking vacations with their families before school starts in the fall. Therefore, I don't expect much "action" until folks return to their desks when summer's over. But you never know. I think my manuscript would make a great beach read. Hee hee! I don't plan to wait with baited breath, though. August is a busy month for me as I prepare for the two workshops I'll be giving at Colorado Gold in September. And I have my next project to work on in the mean time: Mystic Taxi. Though I have the next two books loosely plotted for my Knight series, I know better than to count those chickens too soon.

Tomorrow is Teaser Tuesday so I'll post my one-page synopsis for Mystic Taxi, but without giving away the ending.

We have winners!

As you can see from the sign Teddy is holding, he randomly picked three winners from comments that were posted over the past 5 days of the workshop. He drew them out of the bowl with his claws, which are due for a serious trimming. Congratulations to Crystal Quartz, Calico Kelsey and Ester Jade! You'll each receive one of these books: WRITING THE NOVEL FROM PLOT TO PRINT by Lawrence Block, HOW TO WRITE KILLER FICTION by Carolyn Wheat, or PLOTTING AND WRITING SUSPENSE FICTION by Patricia Highsmith. Please email me at jkduvall at bendbroadband dot com with your snail mail address so I can mail you your prize.

Well, I had an awesome week last week, despite Friday's Blogger drama of getting locked out of my blog. It totally ruined my day. But I'm back on track now and will blog normally again beginning on Monday. I hope you'll come back to visit.

Thank you for participating in my workshop. I enjoyed reading your talented homework assignments, and I hope you all had fun and learned something, too. I've given a variety of in-person writing workshops over the years, but this is my first ever online. This workshop worked out so well that I'll likely give another one. I have a workshop on the secondary character hierarchy (yes, there really is one, but it's my invention so you'll have to take my word for it) and one on discovering your storyteller's voice. So you may see one of these here in the future.

If you ever plan to attend a writer's conference, where all the workshops are fabulous, I highly recommend Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers' Colorado Gold. The next one is September 12-14, 2008 and you can learn more about it here.

Happy writing!

Day 5 – Sense of Touch

We feel things on the inside and the outside, but for the purpose of description and the tactile sense of touch, I won't go too far into the emotional end of things. All description should affect emotion regardless, so I don't want to compartmentalize it. However, someone really ought to do a weeklong workshop on emotion by itself. Don't you think?

So where was I? Oh, yes, tactile sensations…

What does your body feel at this very moment? It's early evening here in Bend, Oregon, and a light breeze flutters in through the open sliding glass door, cooling my ankles and my calves. My thighs are warmed by the laptop I've had sitting on them practically all day. I just cracked open a birthday beer, a Wailua Wheat Ale that's flavored with Passion fruit, and it's quite yummy. I feel relaxed and calm as I listen to my husband play his guitar on the patio.

If I were a book character, someone would break into my home right about now, shoot my husband and my dog, and successfully shake me from my complacent world. That's what fiction does. It stirs up trouble because reading about contented people is boring.

Like sight, the sense of touch fairly dominates our work. Our characters are always feeling things, inside and out, and expressing those feelings can be a challenge. The touch of a calloused hand might mean strength and provide a sense of security, or it could be a threat. Your words will sculpt the character's state of mind and drive her to action.

Continuing with our scene we started on Monday:

The tile was green and shiny. The air smelled like a swamp. Lisa heard footsteps coming closer. She bit the sleeve of her shirt to keep from crying out. She hurt so bad she thought she would faint.

And the better way:

Green tile glistened in the sunlight. A humid scent like wet moss and mud floated on the air. Footsteps sloshed through a puddle of standing water, forcing Lisa farther back into the bushes where she hid. She gasped, then chomped down on her shirt sleeve to stop herself from screaming. The filthy cloth filled her mouth with the taste of blood; the gash in her arm had yet to stop bleeding. Dizzy enough to pass out, Lisa gritted her teeth against the blazing pain of her wound and clamped her fingers around her arm to stanch the bleeding.

Our lovely Lisa is in dire straits. Help better come soon or she's a goner.

DO use concrete images when describing touch. When it comes to tactile senses, it's important to include physical objects in your description to avoid filling it in with too many thoughts and feelings. Emotions alone are telling, and when you use too much you risk boring the reader. You can really put the skids on a well-paced story when you stop the action to explain how a character feels.

DON'T use sentimentality and melodrama to express description. Things like "She was wracked with grief" and "His happiness knew no bounds" will get you rejected so fast your head will spin. No kidding. This is a pitfall of generous description so be careful! Edit your prose with a machete and measure your modifiers to avoid overwriting. Above all, avoid pathetic fallacy, which means do not ascribe human emotions to natural phenomena or inanimate objects. Example: The flowers danced with vicarious joy. That's just silly. Keep it real.

Examples of using the sense of touch in description:

The cool breeze had brushed against his brow a second time, and something about the way it touched him seemed like a sign. As though the breeze was saying look, look…
Galilee by Clive Barker

I jerked my head to one side, gasping, and felt the duct tape pull as he cut it barely a quarter inch from my neck. I felt the cold kiss of the knife drag down and bury itself shallowly in the skin of my shoulder.
Windfall by Rachel Caine

His claws sliced through my jacket, his hot breath bathing my neck as the room's cool air chilled my bloody back. Shui hovered close, inhaling my scent, one claw tracing an immature wing that struggled to break free.
Knight's Curse (not yet published) by Karen Duvall

Homework Assignment: Let's play a game. You'll need someone to help, like a spouse, family member or friend. Close your eyes, or better yet, blindfold yourself, and ask your friend or loved one to hand you an object. You can't see it, but you can feel it. Maybe you can smell it. Just focus on what it feels like in your hands, its weight and texture. Now write about the experience in 100 words or less. It can be from either your point of view, or the POV of a character in a story you're working on. Don't be afraid to combine other senses, but focus on touch for this exercise. Post your creation in the comments section. If you prefer to choose something from your WIP that you feel is an effective use of touch, that's fine, too.

Well, that concludes this week-long workshop for Writing Effective Description Using the Five Senses. I hope you found it helpful, as well as fun. Writing should always be a joyful experience. Please come back to my blog some time for a visit and to say hello. On Saturday I'll draw three names from those who commented and announce the winners on my blog, so be sure to stop by to find out if you won. I'll need to know where to mail your prize.

Happy writing, everyone!